Top 10 Reasons for Tom Ridge to go to Orange

10) He thinks Yellow’s not slimming enough
9) Someone took his stapler again
8) He keeps getting prank calls from someone who asks if there’s enough Johns in the Whitehouse
7) The grocery store ran out of Creamsickles again.
6) The Dingo ate his baby
5) Someone put a thumbtack on his chair
4) He lost his red Sharpie.
3) The Florida Agricultural Lobby said so.
2) Because Green makes him look pasty.

And the number one reason Tom Ridge to go to Orange
1) The chicks, man. The chicks.