Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Top 10 Signs Your Marriage is Over

10) Your wife keeps referring to you as “Old Dirty Bastard” and she’s not into Hip Hop.
9) Whenever you try to kiss your wife she responds with, “Is that a new toothpaste you’re using? ...Or did Death Himself poop in your mouth?”
8) You keep finding thumbtacks in your scrambled eggs.
7) You get three milk deliveries a day… And your wife is lactose intolerant
6) Whenever your mother-in-law calls and you answer the phone, she sounds surprised to hear your voice.
5) There’s a rattlesnake in your sock drawer.
4) Your wife signed you up for this year’s Sabaki Tournament.
3) Your kids keep referring to you as “Old Daddy,” and the milkman as “New Daddy”
2) When you show up for thanksgiving dinner at the in-laws, they keep gesturing at you and saying, “Who invited him?”

And the Number One sign your Marriage is Over…
Your wife is Elizabeth Taylor.

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