Top 10 City Slogans

(Yes, these are all real cities…)
10) Albuquerque, NM: “Shit, we can’t even spell it!”
9) Birmingham, AL: “Just south of anywhere normal people like to go!”
8) Wilmington, DE: “Destroying your credit rating daily!”
7) Lebanon, NH: “No, not that Lebanon”
6) Cheyenne, WY: “The Biggest Truckstop in the Union!”
5) BraSwell, GA: “The land of milk and… well, just milk, really.”
4) Kickapoo, IL: “A City and a Pastime!
3) Bird-in-Hand, PA: “Worth More What You’ve Got in Your Bush!”
2) Vancouver, WA: “Seriously, We’re NOT Canadian!

And the Number One City Slogan: Cripple Creek, CO: “Great Parking Spaces for Everyone!”

Top 10 Other Things Governor Schwarzenegger could have ended this sentence with besides “Girlie Men”

“If they don’t have the guts to come up here in front of you and say, ’I don’t want to represent you, I want to represent those special interests, the unions, the trial lawyers ...’ if they don’t have the guts, I call them girlie men.”
 
10) Chumpsuckafools
9) Beeoootches!
8) Pantywaists
7) Polesmokers
6) Will and Grace watchers
5) People who still think they’re in Arsenio’s Dog Pound
4) Facts of Life fans
3) Quiche Eaters
2) Rich. Very rich.
 
And the Number One Thing Governor Schwarzenegger could have ended this sentence with besides “Girlie Men…”
Bob.

Top 10 Signs the Amendment you Sponsored isn’t Going to Pass

10) When you cast your vote in senate chambers, everyone’s staring.
9) Joe Lieberman keeps snickering whenever you walk past.
8) Ross Perot keeps leaving you messages saying, “See?! SEE?!?!”
7) When you deliver your sponsor speech, Ted Kennedy moons you from the balcony.
6) Even Greenpeace lobbyists keep snubbing you when you walk by.
5) Your Secretary wears a paper bag over her head.
4) Security keeps towing your car out of the “senators only” parking space and then pretends they didn’t know you were a senator.
3) All the freshmen Reps keep grabbing you and giving you swirlies.
2) The Senate tourguide keeps referring to your office as “The Morgue”

And the Number One Sign the Amendment you Sponsored isn’t Going to Pass:
Your name is Wayne Allard.